Relena: Heero you got me pregnant
Heero: So?
Relena: Dont you care?
Heero: Not particularly.
Relena: HEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOO
Heero(covering ears)What?
Catherine: ACK! I'm late on my period!
Quatre: Everyone I'm gay
Catherine: But we...
Trowa: WHAT?!
Quatre: Im gay. Arent you Trowa?
Catherine: But I think I'm pregnant and you're the only one...
Trowa vomits.
Quatre: What is it Trowa
Trowa: Please tell me that you and Cathy didn't...
Quatre: We did.......
Trowa: And you're...
Quatre: Yep Im gay
Trowa looks like he's about to faint and Cathy starts to cry.
Quatre: But I might be bi

Wufei: Fuck all ya'll
Sally thwaks Wufei across his head, practically impales her hand and Wufei goes unconcious with a stupid grin on his face
Heero:Thank you I hate that jerk. Sally go fuck him or somethin to see if he can be nice
Sally: Hmmm...no. I'd say he's gay except he's so tight @$$#%. But I still don't think he likes women.
Heero: I heard he was married
Sally: And I heard his wife died. But I still don't think he likes girls.
Heero: You can change him
Sally: Heero, you ARE aware that it's more or less impossible for me to do anything to him like that without his being awake, right?
Heero: Just tie him up and rape him til he likes it
Sally: Heero, did Dr. J ever have a nice long talk with you?
Heero: Yeah but it didnt do much good
Sally: Figures.

next scene

Zechs: Noin what do you mean pregnant I never even kissed you
Noin: Well kissing doesn't exactly do it!
Zechs: Then how can you be pregnant
Noin: Remember that time you had a dream about having sex with somebody who tied you down?
Zechs: Yeah
Noin: Well didn't you ever wonder WHY you had that dream?
Zechs: Sometimes
Noin: Well maybe you better sit down...
Zechs: Noin you didnt......
Zechs sits down
Noin blushes and sorta shrugs.
Zechs: I thought you were a lesbian
Noin: I did NOT do anything with Sally! Why doesn't anyone believe me?!
Zechs: Actually I thought it was your hair cut
Noin(mumbles):Besides, she has the hots for Wufei.
Noin: Well what about YOUR hair?
Zechs: Thats personal
Noin: Well somebody has to have short hair in the family.
Zechs:.............
Noin: Whether you like it or not it's your kid.
Zechs: puts his mask on
Noin: Zechs?
Zechs:.........
Noin looks nervous: Zechs?
Zechs: Why did you rape me Noin?
Noin: I was desperate.
Zechs: you could of asked
Noin: Would it have done any good?
Zechs: Maybe
Noin: Oh really?
Zechs: Yes
Zechs: Now I have to marry you
Noin tries to supress a smile: I know.
Zechs: Now I cant destroy the earth I have to start a family
Noin: I know.

end scene

Alex(walks out of his room having slept in)
Dorothy is sitting on the sofa fiddling with her eyebrows.
Alex: Dorothy I had the strangest dream you told me I had to marry you
Dorothy grinning evilly:Oh really?
Alex: Yeah you told me you are pregnant and I have to marry you or else you'll hurt me
Dorothy: Well, I am pregnant.
Alex with a shocked look: How?
Dorothy: Remember what happened to Zechs and Noin?
Alex: yeah but you didnt tie me down I was willing
Dorothy smiles even eviller: True.
Alex: this place is getting full of pregnant women
Dorothy: Well, maybe that has something to do with the pills that we've been slipping all of you.
Alex shocked: Viagra!?
Dorothy: No no no. Nothing like that. Just alot of herbs and things we bought from an herb shop in China.
Alex: Why there is enough sex in this place as it is
Dorothy: Because then we wouldn't have a next episode.
Alex: I dont understand
Dorothy smiles again: Understand or not, don't you ever wonder why you have such strange dreams sometimes?
Alex: maybe
Dorothy: I talk to you when you're asleep.
Alex: Oh
Dorothy(playing with a letter opener): So, what's you decision?
Alex: you mean to marry you, I'll do it
Dorothy smiles: That's good. Because I'd hate to have to kill you. Besides, I don't do diapers.
Alex: You dont do much but thats why your rich
Dorothy smiles again.

Next scene.

Zechs: Heero I'll kill you for knocking my sister up!
Heero: I am the perfect soldier. Nothing can kill me.
Zechs shoots at Heero: We'll see you have to marry relena now
Heero starts running for the hangar: I am not marrying material.
Zechs: Neither am I but I have to marry Noin or she'll do somethin to me
Heero: It's not my fault you're that weak.
Zechs: Marry my sister and think of all the things you'll do with her
Heero thinks:That's what my problem is!
Zechs: Cmon she wont stop til you kill her
Quatre walks in and says:Heero, if you don't marry Miss Relena she'll be sad. And then I'll be sad for her. And then we'll both cry.
Heero dives for cover as Quatre starts sobbing.
Heero: OK I'LL DO IT JUST STOP HIM!!!
Zechs runs for cover: havent you killed the gay kid yet?
Heero: Trowa won't let me. Quatre's marrying his sister.
Zechs: Oi
Heero: Seems he got her knocked up too.
Zechs: Why the hell did they give us all the herbs for Heero: Aparently they decided we all need to get married.
Zechs: Jareth and Fenix are safe
Quatre finally stops sobbing and goes to tell Relena Heero agreed.
Heero: Aparently that's what happens when your girlfriend has amnesia or is already to busy playing mom to bother with you.
Zechs: maybe Jareth or Fenix will let us stay at their bachelor pads sometime
Heero: Maybe if I hurry I can change my name and move to a colony before Relena comes in here.
Heero tries to make a run for it.
Zechs: heero dont try it Relena has our pictures posted every where
Heero: It's worth a shot.
Zechs: I tried already
Heero: Yes but you're not me.
Zechs: Its hopeless I was in disguise her and Noin gave samples of our voices to everyone
Heero: DAMN!
Relena comes bounding in and throws her arms around Heero's neck squeezing him until it looks like he's about to suffocate.
Relena: HEERO!!
Zechs: urghhhh
Heero starts choking and Relena let's go of him.
Relena: Quatre told me the good news!
Heero: Define 'good'?
Zechs: That gay kid is dead
Relena: Oh don't be such a spoil sport Milliardo! Come on Heero we have so much to do!

end scene.

Fenix fixes the flower arangements in his shop slowly
Fiti walks in acting all bouncy and hugs him
Fenix: why are you so happy?
Fiti smiles: I just got back from the doctor.
Fenix: and
Fiti: And I'm pregnant.
Fenix continues to arrange the flowers: Thats nice dear
Fiti waits patiently for the news to sink in.
Fenix gets a shocked look: P-p-p-pregnant!?!?
Fiti laughs: Yep.
Fenix shocked: Im the father?
Fiti laughs again: Of course.
Fenix smiles softly sweating from the shock: Oh my
Fiti hugs him again: I'm soo happy!
Fenix hugs her back: as am I dear
Fenix: Fiti we are actually going to have a family......
Fiti: Yep. I know. I can't wait.
Fenix: Neither can I
Fiti: Well I better go tell Aiko the good news. She's going to love it.
Fenix: Ok darling
Fiti kisses him goodbye: I'll see you later. We still have to talk about some stuff.
Fenix: yes dear
Fiti leaves.
Zechs: Fenix I need a place to crash on account I got Noin pregnant.
Fenix: Sorry I and Fiti need the extra room now since we are expecting
Zechs gasps: What the heck

end scene

Treize sits in a chair acting all superior and sh-t
Une walks in.
Une: Mr. Treize, I need to talk to you.
Treize: yes dear lady.
Une: Mr. Treize, I need some time off.
Treize: What for?
Une: Well, I just found out I'm pregnant.
Treize: Congratualtions who is the father?
Une: You.
Treize gasps in shock: how do you know?
Une: Well...
Treize looks questioning
Une: Laughs a little. Umm...Mr. Treize, trust me on this you really don't want to know the details of this.
Treize: Actually I do
Une, blushing a deep shade of crimson:Well, remember how you made the arrangements to have some of your sperm criogenically frozen so the next generation could always live on?
Treize: yes
Une: Well...I got really drunk one day... and started thinking how much I'd like a kid and....
Treize: Oh I see.......
Une: It was a good idea at the time...
Treize: well do you want an abortion?
Une: Actually no.
Treize: Ok........guess we have to get married......
Une squelching a satisfied grin: I suppose so.
Treize: I'll get the ring when I get time
Une: Ok. I'll go make some arrangements.
Treize: Good
Une leaves.

*Well what'dya expect from Treize and Une?*

Quatre: Everyone guess what Im gay
Everyone: We already knew that Quatre.
Quatre: How?
Relena: Well, Quatre, it was sort of obvious.
Duo: Yeah, especially as much as you hung out around Trowa.
Quatre: Oh
Heero: It was really obvious.
Trowa: Even if he IS having a kid with my sister.
Quatre: was it the purple clothes?
Relena: Mostly.
Heero: But screaming Trowa's name every five seconds didn't hurt.
Quatre looks down: Oh.....
Duo: Hey wait a second...you were always saying Relena's name. Does that mean...
Heero grabs Duo by the throat.
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Quatre: Maybe Im bi I did do Catherine alot...
Cathy looks embarrassed and Trowa averts his eyes.
Dorothy: Oh really Quatre? Please elaborate!
Quatre: ...but gay sounds better doesnt it...
Everyone sweatdrops.
Quatre: what?
Cathy: Umm, Trowa?
Trowa stands up and goes over to Quatre, whispers in his ear that he'd better marry his sister, or else.
Trowa sits down.
Cathy: Trowa what did you do?
Quatre: I'll marry Cathy
Cathy: Trowa you didn't.
Trowa: Did I?

end scene

Duo walks in his long braid follows
Hilde is already sitting down hiding something behind her back.
Duo: what are you hiding Hilde
Hilde: Well, you know how it always takes you so long to get ready for work in the morning?
Duo:Yeah?
Hilde: And how all the hot water is already gone before you get out of the shower?
Duo: Yeah
Hilde: Well I think I've solved that problem.
Hilde brings scissors out from behind her back and grabs Duo's braid
Duo: oh?
Hilde: This should only take minute.
Duo Screams:what!?
Hilde: Just hold still for a minute...
Duo: crosses his arms
Hilde jerks Duo's braid and holds the scissors up to the end of it.
Duo: no!!!!!!
Hilde grinning micheviously: Do you want an army hair cut?
Duo Screams and runs away
Hilde chases Duo holding the scissors screaming at him to come back.
Hilde: It'll only take a minute!
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hilde starts grabbing onto Duo's hair.
Duo holds his braid out of her reach
Hilde tackles Duo and sits on him.
Hilde: Now hold still it'll only take a moment.
Duo: No this is something I remember of Sister Helen
Hilde smiling even more evilly tries to cut the braid only to find the scissors won't cut it.
Hilde: DAMN Duo when was the last time you washed your hair?!
Duo:.........
Hilde: These scissors won't cut it!
Duo: dont cut my hair Sister Helen was like a mother
Hilde: Well you're safe the scissors can't cut through.
Duo: good
Hilde: How often do you wash your hair?
Duo: I'm not talking
Hilde is still sitting on Duo gives him a sweet face and says: Please tell me?
Duo: alright once a month
Hilde: Then why does it always take you so long in the shower?
Duo: I dunno you use all the hot water first
Hilde: I do not!
Duo: yes you do..
Hilde: Do not!
Duo: do to!!